Back on Solid Ground. But Dizzy with Exhaustion.

London, Ontario - Following another 44 hours in transit, we finally returned home to the land of the maple leaf last night. And we're feeling a bit weary from the whole affair (SCS has actually been quite ill for the past couple of days). This time, thankfully, there were no snafus with delayed and cancelled planes, nor any lost luggage (which we checked in Langkawi and it, mercifully, still successfully followed us through three flights to Toronto). But, with only a trio of half-hour naps over that stretch, I'm feeling a bit knackered in both body and mind today. Of course, the fact our first flight on the 13th didn't leave until 11 p.m. after a full day of exploring didn't help either. Yawn.

All in all, it was a rough life there for a while in Langkawi. Or not. The ocean, lapping at the back patio of our villa. The sky, endless and blue, draped over the green jungle that crawled down the mountainside to our front door. The beach, soft and white under our feet, proffering glittery shells as offerings to weary travellers. Not too shabby.

We stayed at the Berjaya Beach and Spa resort on the island of Langkawi, which is to the north of mainland Malaysia and about a forty minute plane trip from Penang. A little luxury after trekking through the concrete jungle for the earlier parts of the trip. From the first moment, service at the resort was top-notch and everyone from the bellhops to the shuttle drivers to the leaf blowers (every morning, cleaning off the walkways) to miscellaneous other staff members scooting around on motorbikes would smile and say hello.

The accomm- odations were also beyond nice, with private little villas designed in a fairly open concept fashion and nestled into the jungle, with banana, bamboo and palm fanning them. Our patio looked out toward the ocean, over which we would watch the sun set while we enjoyed dinner. Likely because of the heat (in the low- to mid-forties), the sky was ablaze with beautiful electric storms at night.

Langkawi also provide me with my first experience driving on the left side of the road. And the right side of the car. I wasn't sure how it would work out, but the freedom to go where we wished on the island was attractive and the adjustment actually ended up being fairly easy. Only once did I go, "Gee, I wonder why that guy is coming straight at me. Oh, crap."

Our first night, we were startled by a flying squirrel, which swooped down and latched onto a tree along the path we were taking. It looked like a Muppet, the way it trained its beady little eyes on us, quickly looking left, then right. Long, long arms and a crazy flap of a tail. It was really quite amazing.

We went into town to rustle up some dinner and found an Indian food hawker for some take-away. There had been some difficulties communicating and service ended up being a little slow. So, the look on SCS's face was priceless when -- after a long wait -- the cook started packaging up 34 Char Keow Teows. Turns out, they weren't for us. What we did get, though, was great and we returned the second night.

On our way back to our room, we also crossed paths with a lemur, but I was slow on the draw with the camera. And, from our balcony, we saw a monitor lizard snaking through the surf. Alas, no monkeys on day one. Funny though, when we got back to our room, it looked as though someone had been there in our absence. Monkeys, hiding in our suitcases? No. But there were orchids on the pillows and an empty box on dresser. A quick peek into the fridge revealed a cake. And it said, "Happy Honeymoon" on it. SCS and I both looked at each other and laughed, wondering if there was something the other had neglected to mention. Um, there was no wedding. And this isn't a honeymoon. But told you the service was good. And thanks for the cake.

Day two started with SCS being startled by a rather large (four inches wide?) spider peering back at her from inside her luggage. Turns out her socks make a cozy place to rest, free from the wrath of the bald eagles circling outside. Not that I'd have picked them. We hopped into the car and made our way to the Seven Wells waterfall, where we finally saw monkeys. Holy crap -- lots of monkeys! The first was sitting on the railing which guides you up the extremely steep steps to the top of the mountain (and did I mention that it was forty degrees out? No? Well, it was mighty warm). Up and down the mountain, we'd wind up seeing many more monkeys, including a tiny baby trying to venture beyond its mother's grasp and onto a branch. Like any good mother, she just sat there calmly, holding its tail like a child leash. Then, when another mom-key was around, she'd let it explore. The teen monkeys, like the one at right, all had funny little fuzzy mohawks. And this one was jonesing for what was in SCS's green plastic bag. Badly. Most of the ones we crossed paths with that day were relatively friendly (but no, you don't pet them); it wasn't until my third day that I was pursued with fangs bared. Wanting to take a picture of a couple of monkeys playing in a tree, I started to cross the road and two little devils on the ground came flying at me from different angles. I retreated. Quickly. Like I was French or something. They obviously weren't a part of the Malaysia 2007 tourism board. Except maybe in the brochures. Like furry models.

Later in the day, we went to a mangrove forest, but the water was low, leaving only a pile of mud and a tangle of roots. And crabs ducking in and out of daylight. More monkeys, too, looking all cute and stuff so that patrons of a restaurant in the middle of the forest would share their food. Then, an enormous monitor lizard skulked out from the mud, flicking its tongue. Rewarded with a chicken carcass, it made short work of its prize, grinding the bones into a paste. Yum. Raw chicken, with paste. An impressive sight nonetheless.

Most of the rest of our time on Langkawi was spent at the beach (you know you're carrying a little extra weight when you sunburn in stripes) and checking out other sights around the island. With an ever watchful eye for more wildlife. The only regret was that we didn't get to take the cable car up the mountain -- alas, it was closed for maintenance the day we wanted to go. Better that it be maintained.

Driving around, we took in scenery from every angle and visited some new beaches. It was astounding how many beer bottles -- likely from fishermen -- were frolicking in the waves, much like the drunken sailors who likely threw them overboard. Any sea glass enthusiasts should have quite the haul in a couple of years. We also marvelled at the small clear crabs which darted into holes in the nick of time before our treacherous toes could inadvertently track them down. "Scurry, scurry crab." At one of the beaches, I was looking between the rocks for shells and suddenly, a half dozen shells took off from me like a Dukes of Hazard chase scene. All willy nilly. Hermit crabs. As tended to be the way when we found something new for the other to come look at, I almost yelled to SCS, "I've got crabs!". But thought better of it. I also felt it would be unfriendly if I took their homes from them. Particularly with their claws spinning out, grasping for my fingers.

Langkawi: a beautiful island. Except maybe for the Lefarge cement plant, incongruously placed in between more beautiful plants. And Lim's Optometry and Nuts? Still haven't figured out what that's all about. No swimming monkeys, but a lemur, many bald eagles, a flying squirrel, several monitor lizards of a variety of sizes and monkeys, monkeys, monkeys. And yet more food in a bag.

Homeward Bound.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - Toffee Nut Frapp- uccuino in hand - and oddly, across from a Cheers restaurant - we sit in the Kuala Lumpur Inter- national Airport, one hour into the many, many hour trip back from our sojourn abroad (one hour from Langkawi to KL, 14 hours to Paris, nine hours to Toronto, two hours to London). Of course, all times are approximate, given what we went through to get here. At least our bags are checked right through to Canada and we have a bulkhead seat for the next stretch.

Anyway, there's much, much more to come from our wonderful time in Langkawi, but in the meantime, I thought I'd share shots of a couple of our new friends. The monkey at right was at the Seven Wells waterfall, one of ten times we crossed paths with the little, climbing critters. A little mohawked teen, he was one of the friendlier guys we met. Likely because he was quite keen to find out what SCS had in her green plastic bag. Alas, he didn't get to find out, so he scurried away, lost in the canopy.

Upon originally looking at resorts in Langkawi, I had become excited by the prospect of seeing swimming monkeys. We didn't find any, but we did see several swimming monitor lizards. Snaking their way through the green water, tongue forever flicking in and out. We found the one at right in a mangrove forest, crawling through the muck and getting generally dirty. His mom's going to be angry. Then make him get out the Tide. One of the locals tossed it a chicken carcass, which was soon dissolved into mush. Finger lickin' good. Quite an impressive creature.

Another flight to catch -- more to follow.

Bloggus Interruptus.

Penang, Malaysia - Today, we head to the island of Langkawi in search of Macaque monkeys and Monitor Lizards.

Oh, and perhaps a bit of relaxation as well.

In the process, we bid adieu to Penang, which has been an incredible experience for me. Eye- and imagination-opening. The doors, the details, the smells, the food. The experience.

Not sure if we'll have reliable Internet access in Langkawi, so if posting ceases for a few days, it doesn't mean I've been swallowed by the jungle.

Necessarily.

Penang, Evening.

Penang, Malaysia - We had a ball this evening at the Bukit Jambul mall, where we discovered a sizeable arcade. Good thing SCS and I aren't the least bit competitive. Nah, not at all. Pop-a-shot: check. SCS showed very good form and was good competition. Arcade motor bike racing: check. No clue how a guy my size is to fit on one of those wobbly things. Oh wait, there's also that small detail of balance. Whoops. There goes SCS, tearing down the hairpin turns while I bounce off of walls, wounding only my ego. Must be all her experience on a scooter. Redemption time at the air hockey table, something about which SCS has talked a bunch of smack. Too bad that was the only smack to her game this evening. Two straight -- one, playing by her rules. And the other, by the right rules. I know, she said something about her thigh hurting. A fun, fun time -- and we were good sports about it. Most of the time.

I was pretty excited to get home to my 'dinner in a bag', which I rustled up at an Indian restaurant across from the mall. Take-away. Yum. One guy cooked up some chapati on a giant grill in front of me, flipping it in the air like pizza dough. Another had me choose what I'd like from a number of dishes in front of me: some rice, some sweet chicken legs and something else with shrimp in it. Throwing it all on the plate with gusto, he painted the completed dish with a flourish of a couple more sauces, tied up the bag and wrapped it in newspaper. For maybe $2-3. Voilà, dinner is served.

Penang: Day Three.

Penang, Malaysia - An extremely hot and humid day in Penang today and we decided to wade our way through the large Sunday market set up at the base of the hill on which the Buddhist Temple, Kek Lok Si, is perched. This Temple, which seems to appear magnificently over you when you approach it, is the largest in south-east Asia and quite a sight to behold. Still being expanded today, Kek Lok Si is more than 110 years old.

With so many colours, shapes and interesting angles, it was really no surprise that I finally filled my camera's memory card today. The tiling and woodwork are breathtaking, as are the views of the city and the mountain. Throughout, of course, are numerous giant Buddhas in his various forms, some which are trampling crazed-looking demons. Apparently, the site is even more breathtaking at night.

To get up the hill to the temple, you must run the gauntlet of vendors who line both sides of the narrow, covered steps, frantically grabbing at your sleeves and saying "Buy something? Best price, best price!" Of course, if all that's grabbed is your sleeve, you're doing well. I got into a stare down with a young guy who had accidentally -- or not -- been feeling around SCS's rear pockets. At a little more than five feet tall, his eyes broke the lock first and he scurried away, deeper into layers of fabric, smiling Buddhas and cheap t-shirts.

SCS made off like a bandit with her negotiating today, driving prices down and laughing the whole time. "Best price" became a new "best price" became a new best price. And then, a final price. The farther away from the stall you were the lower the price would go as though Ringetts could disappear into vapors with the shrinking sounds of words, lost in the mayhem. For a culture not overly accustomed to negotiating, I think SCS and I have done pretty well and, at the end of the day, everything is so cheap here that it's tough to get too upset either way. Weaving back in and out of traffic, we took in the smells of many more hawker stalls and also passed a religious procession where oxen were pulling a cart of Hindu effects.

We enjoyed lunch at the Temple of Fine Arts with SCS's friend, where there was an Indian buffet and the slogan: "Eat what you like. Pay what you like." Wow, that's pretty trusting, non? It was a restaurant where you take your shoes off when you enter and was run by volunteers. I also finally broke down and had my first mango lassi, not generally being too big a fan of mangos. All and all, it was another fantastic meal.

Penang: Day Two.

Penang, Malaysia - It was a quieter day in Penang as I had the oppor- tunity in the morning to join SCS at her conference, which included a number of the top bloggers in the world (notably contentious Malaysian bloggers, who are attempting to mobilize action in a country devoid of press freedom) and human rights activists. (Thanks for the shout-out, Peter.) It was particularly interesting to be able to put faces to a number of individuals about whom I have read a fair bit in SCS's papers and to hear their views in person. I'm thinking the only reason SCS asked me to come to the talk was that she wanted a piping hot latte. But I might be wrong.

I also wandered around the subdivisions around where we're staying until SCS finished her work and we were able to head back downtown. I had wanted to go see the Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, also known as the 'Blue Mansion' because of its startlingly blue walls, which helped it win a UNESCO award. We weren't able to get inside, but it was still a sight to see from the exterior.

We again wandered down through the streets of Penang and into a couple of crazy Chinese and Indian stores with fireworks, golden Buddhas, flowers and other religious icons wrapped in plastic. We also went into a local art gallery and store where the owner graciously toured us around and pointing out various pieces, including one SCS particularly liked of a surrealist cat with fish eyes painted by a 94-year-old man.

For dinner, we stopped into a little Indian shop and had some Tandoori chicken, Mee Goreng and assorted other delights. You really cannot beat the value for food here -- we were full and quenched for about $6. Apparently, many of the hawker stalls follow traditional recipes passed down through their families and tend to specialize in just a few items.

Once we had had enough of wandering, we went back to the Eastern & Oriental hotel to watch the sun set over the water and enjoy a glass of wine. As it got dark, a cruise ship sparkled through the Straits -- needless to say, it was a nice setting.

Stopping at the grocery store on the way home, the security guard wanted her to check her umbrella with the coat check. She looked at him rather incredulously, as if to say: "Hunh? You think I'm going to smuggle a bundle of bananas inside this wee thing?" It was odd, but not as strange as the hotel refusing to provide us with another blanket at the end of the night. Wedding after wedding in the hotel this weekend...

Penang: Day One.

Penang, Malaysia - Having left KL behind, we had a great day on the island of Penang, which is to the north-west of the nation's capital and on the Straits of Malacca. It was an earliesh start to the day, but we had to be sure to get one more Hilton breakfast under our belts. Literally.

By high speed train to the airport, we passed Putrajaya, a recently-planned city designed to ease the burden on Kuala Lumpur. Home to the new Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC), which is intended to replicate silicon valley and push Malaysia to so-called first-world status by 2020, Putrajaya also serves as the current base for the Federal government. And the Prime Minister's home, atop a tall hill, looms large above. Over the half hour trip, we also passed many of the palm plantations we saw upon landing earlier in the week. They really do stretch for as far as the eye can see, all in perfectly ordered rows.

One of SCS's friends picked us up from the airport and brought us to the Hotel Vistana, where we will spend a couple of nights prior to heading to Langkawi for a bit of R&R. And hopefully, some monkeys! We're staying just up the street from Universiti Sains Malaysia, a hike from downtown, but in the shadow of a tropically verdant mountain. Interestingly, outside downtown, nearly all homes are gated.

Wandering downtown was one of the neatest experiences thus far for someone interested in how people live. Gorgeous buildings, but most in need of some serious repair. Sidewalks that end abruptly, dropping off to the street. And into the gutter. Weaving in-and-out of archways hanging from which are Chinese lanterns, blankets and other wares. A little tougher to navigate for tall people. Small, one room homes you can peer into, almost all of which have a Chinese alter directly in front of the door, candle light flickering over the walls while children scurry about, helping make dinner or watching television. Or others, in which all of one's worldly belongings are stacked to the ceiling in a single room. In the face of very real poverty, people's faces are painted as brightly as the colours on the doors, shutters and archways that carry you into their worlds. Bamboo blinds, blinking. Motor scooters dueling with rickshaws on the road.

You cannot effectively get many places here without some form of transport- ation, so there are a lot of cars, but even more motorcycles or scooters, and bicycles. One man lugged a dozen or so bleach bottles of detergent, tied -- hanging like jewelery -- to his bike. Another, strapped his eggs to the back of a motorcycle. One accident in this heat and you'd have a giant, instantaneous omelet. And likely, a street party. People's livelihoods strapped to two wheels and their balance -- the way people drive here, that's a serious risk.

Everywhere, little shops filled with trinkets, antiques and artwork. Alleys which open into vast spaces filled with fabrics in a full array of colours. Chinese temples, Hindu temples and the occasional Buddhist temple tucked quaintly between people's homes. Apart from occasional, small alleys, jutting jagged like veins in random places, most buildings are attached to each other. And the roads: not designed according to a grid.

We wandered through Little India, which was also awash in colour: bright flower leis in oranges, reds and yellows. Saris in combinations of all colours. Small backpacker havens which could be had for the equivalent of $6 CAD a night. With a fan.

A little peckish, we stopped into one of the street side Indian restaurants to sample some local fare. Taunting the taste buds, some of it was spicy enough that I saw colours. And not from all of the flowers hanging outside. But it was also extremely tasty and the blackberry lassi certainly helped to cool things off. Completely full, all for a few dollars. It was a satisfying way to take in some of the local culture at what appeared to be a family-run establishment, the matriarch perched on a chair, silently directing the men about the restaurant as they gathered us food bathed in yellows, browns and reds.

After lunch, the rain began to fall (which helped polish off the last remains of spice the lassi couldn't handle) and we made it over to the Eastern & Oriental Hotel, a bastion of Britishness that remains from colonial times. Swanky, even. As the rain fell harder, we huddled inside the dining room over a coffee, then a glass of wine, overlooking the choppy water. As the storm lifted, we were gradually able to see across to mainland Malaysia and the whitecaps soothed themselves back into the ocean. Venturing outside to take a couple of pictures, I was greeted by my new, little friend to the right. Not the best of pictures because the lizard skittered along the wet pavement better than I. Trying to get closer, it took off, dancing up a covered drainage ditch, splashing happily away. As did I.

We enjoyed dinner with a number of people associated with SCS's conference and partook in some Malay food, including fried seafood balls coated in -- essentially -- croutons and chicken wrapped in banana leaves. What a good day.

Doors of Penang.

Penang, Malaysia - Doorways conceal and doorways reveal. What's inside? Who lives here? They keep you out and yet, they also provide an entrance into someone else's world. You can often learn a lot about people, or about a shop, based on the door. Sort of like shoes. Here are some of the doors that caught my eye while wandering through Penang today.

This ornate door fronts a shop on Penang Road where we found many antique curios and other neat items. As if the door wasn't fancy enough, the wall was also lined with tile. The one below, too, included minute detail and even the security bars had some flair.


The next two doors were pretty common aluminum doors, but their owners had taken the time to paint them vibrant colours. Many shops have similar doors facing jagged, raised sidewalks which weave in, out and under myriad arches.

KL: Day Three. Eating it Up.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - This city is so much about food -- it's every- where. Which, of course, makes me very happy. 

Restaurants, street corners, side street alleys: food is all around, wafting into your sinuses and wrestling you in new directions. What do you feel like? It's all here.

Big restaurants to little stalls with a couple of red, plastic chairs. Or the curb. Indian, Chinese, or just plain ol' food. Traditional family recipes. New ideas. Everywhere. And it's cheap. In most cases, it's people's livelihood. While I expected the so-called 'street meat', nothing really prepared me for people emerging from holes in the walls of dank alleys with Corningware dishes full of meats, potatoes and vegetables swimming in a variety of sauces and other coatings. 

A bag of fruit, served with a long wooden skewer, will maybe set you back a quarter. And there's little more refreshing on a hot day than a bag of fresh watermelon. Beverages, too, in colours that would make Benjamin Moore proud. Deep purples (no, not the 70's hair band), the limest of lime greens, bright reds and rich browns. Grape, lychee, starfruit and watermelon, all mixed with giant slabs of ice, carted around town to quench you from the omnipresent heat, which drapes itself over your shoulders like a giant, wool suit. I had the sugar cane. While these pictures don't really do it justice, hawker stalls are everywhere, some with little kitchens in the back where their owners pare garlic, chop vegetables and prepare meats for grilling, boiling or -- more likely -- frying. Others just appear, as though by magic. 

We walked down the alley to the right around 13:00 local time today, squeezing between tables and vendors, and it was packed. With likely a half dozen or so vendors in this alley alone, the smells, colours and commotion were frenetic, bombarding the senses. From each table we passed, you could hear people exclaim, "Mat Salleh! Mat Salleh!", meaning "White People". Apparently, in Malay, this also refers to "Mad Sailor". Well, I guess I was a mad flyer the other day. We had had too enormous a breakfast -- which included a waffle bar, an omelet bar, fruits and breads of every variety, as well as number of ethnic recipes -- to stop for lunch, but much of the food looked and smelled incredible. Bellies, aching.  

We spent the morning wandering through India Town, which had its moments of garishness (gold jewelery stores, guarded by large, gun-toting security personnel), bright colours (saris and other fabrics) and food for as far as the eye could see and the nose could smell. It was a good walk through some of the less-travelled (by tourists) streets. But far from quiet. We had hoped to make it up to the observation bridge which connects the two spires of the Petronas Towers, but all of the day's tickets had been distributed by the time we got there (they're handed out on a first-come-first-served basis, starting at 8:30).

In addition to food, there are also many malls here. For being a relatively poor country (though there are more millionaires per capita here than anywhere else in Asia), commercialism has sunk its claws in quite deeply. I wasn't quite able to get my camera out quickly enough to adequately capture the juxtaposition that seems to demonstrate this, but the picture to the right is of KL's 'Mega Mall', which was built right around a previously existing Hindu Temple. The circle shows a part of where this tiny temple hunkers in the shadow of the mighty Ringett. The many arms of Vishnu waving away Starbucks, The Body Shop and McDonald's, statues of Ganesh, trumpeting in horror. Capitalism, seemingly, the new religion.  

While our hotel has real pine trees in its lobby and a 30 foot-high Santa Claus, it still makes relative sense to me considering its clientele. But, along the same lines as the dichotomy described above, SCS and I were somewhat startled when we saw a Muslim woman wearing, on top of her tudung (a Muslim headdress), a Santa hat, replete with reindeer antlers. It was hard to justify in our minds, it was so banal. I didn't want to be insensitive when taking the picture, so I hurriedly took it from behind: a commercial, Christian holiday advertised by a woman in full Muslim dress. My, the dollar beckons. And yes, that's McDonald's -- offering McRingett Savers -- in the background.

Interesting side note: Kuala Lumpur is the only city in the world to have a million-year-old primary forest within the heart of the city. That said, it's our last night in KL -- our Malaysian tour continues to Penang tomorrow and we have to catch our flight early in the morning. 

Back to the airport!

KL: Day Two.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - Another busy day in Kuala Lumpur, albeit a slower one starting as we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and had to pack in order to switch hotels to the Hilton in KL Sentral. Whoa – feeling a bit like a rock star here. What an incredible looking hotel. The room is über- modern (isn’t anything with the word “über” in it?), with wood and tile floors, a deep marble tub and ceiling mounted shower head, sliding frosted glass doors throughout and a wall mounted flat screen television that is about four feet wide. Not that we’ve even had it on, but it seems larger than some of the cars outside.

Shirt striped diagonally under the strap from my bag, I’m pretty sure today was even hotter than yesterday. Yes, another sweaty one. There was also a massive tropical thunderstorm when we got back this afternoon, which made everything instantly white outside, it was raining so hard. Shaking the windows, the thunder sounded like giant church bells. If your head was inside them. We sat and watched it from the little chaise lounge in the bay window. Pip pip, quite posh.

When we got out wandering, we took the train to Masjid Jamek (enjoying a watermelon juice smoothie on the way) and over to Merdeka Square, the National Mosque and the old train station. Merdeka Square, home to the world’s tallest flag pole – at 100 metres – is where independence is celebrated. Because of the time of day, we weren’t able to go into the mosque, which can hold up to 15,000 people at a time. It was also over this stretch I saw some of my favorite architecture of the trip, with several buildings built in the Moorish style. The old and new train stations – across the street from each other – were fun to walk through and take pictures of. The postal building, too, is very neat – tall and white with cut-outs all the way up.

We then made our way over to Central Market, which sells crafts and antiques. To this point, I had thought the prevalence of Santa Claus and Christmas carols in Malaysia was the most anomalous things of the trip. But, no – brace yourself. First, SCS and I chuckled when we came across a store in the market which sold moccasins and other traditionally North American First Nations’ wares. Then, coming into the centre area, we were greeted by a crowd surrounding a Malay man, resplendent in a full headdress. Playing a harpsichord. Playing Celine Dion on the harpsichord. No, really. So discordant. I would have found this disturbing enough back home, but in south-east Malaysia? Way too much to grasp. Heads still swimming, SCS and I got some practice haggling with one of the vendors and I’m sure both sides felt they came out alright.

In Chinatown, one of the shopkeepers made us samples of tea in thimble-sized cups and we stopped into another for a snack and a drink. We also stopped into one of the temples, where coils of incense were burning all around.

For dinner, we met up with one of SCS’s friends and he took us to a Japanese buffet in another of the suburbs. There were more options than I could have possibly imagined. Sushi: check. Sashimi: check. Noodles: check. Shark fin soup: check. Ostrich: check. Wait a second. Check? Because Japan is really known for its ostriches, terrorizing the residents of Tokyo. Ostrich? Really? With how sharks are harvested for their fins and then disposed of, I wasn’t pleased to see the soup, either.

But, we did enjoy copious amounts of sushi, carefully avoiding those with lime green-coloured roe on the top. The thermonuclear colours on some of the sushi was a little off-putting. Pinks and greens and yellows. Children stood by, mesmerized by them, though. No, not really. Still, piles of salmon, octopus, eel and a variety of other fish. And some quail, which – even covered in sauce – looked startlingly like pigeon. But the star of the dinner was the mashed potato machine. Frightening. Absolutely frightening. Press a button and – presto! – liquid pours out from a boy licking his lips. Eventually, it solidifies and you can press another button and – presto again! – gravy. Shudder. As a part of the experience, we actually tried it. And we will never speak of it again.

Oh, and the hotel? Coming back tonight, I went for a quick swim in the pool that weaves its way around the outside of the hotel complex and overlooks the city. A full moon and palm trees, twinkling with white Christmas lights – and the city below. You know, it’s really a rough life sometimes.

Juvenile, yes. Likely even culturally insensitive (much like Mr. Dong saying, "yeah, yeah, I've heard them all before; enough already"). But it was a picture that needed to be taken. I find random coffin shops odd as it is, but the proprietor made it even better. Best of all, though: when SCS read the sign to me, she didn't think anything of it, beyond what the store sold.

Like Giant Steel Asparagus Reaching Into the Sky.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - Just ahead of a thunderstorm this afternoon, we made it out to the Petronas Twin Towers, which was the world's tallest high rise of the twentieth century and remains the tallest set of twin towers. They were also the scene of the crime in the 1999 movie, Entrapment, featuring Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones. It's dizzying to look up at them and, for whatever the reason, they reminded me of giant steel asparagus. Must've been hungry at the moment. Of course, all the glass shards wouldn't be too tasty. There is also a park with fountains underneath, though they were not flowing today. We also missed the time to be able to go up to the bridge which connects the two towers, but will likely do so tomorrow. Oddly (though impressively), it's free to do.

We paused for a coffee inside the Towers at a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and walked around the extremely high-end mall inside. So tony. At its centre: a giant Christmas tree. Again, the prevalence of holiday trappings has really caught me off guard, considering Christians account for approximately five per cent of the population here (Muslims, Buddhists and Hindus predominate). But there was Santa around every corner, grinning and jolly. While looking at the tree, an Indian man decided to come over to ask if I would take a picture of him with SCS. Um, yeah. I declined. Another tried to sell me a 'Rolex'. Again, um, no. Not to be confused with UMNO, the nation's ruling party (and this, not being a democracy...)

Following this, we took the (above-ground) subway out to Bangsar, one of KL's neighbourhoods. My first experience on a packed Asian train -- I was definitely glad to be tall, and decided to be wary of pickpockets as song lyric "One of these things is not like the others" popped into my head. Was pretty glad I didn't smell like I did yesterday after the flight...

The funniest thing (to me) about the subway system are the posters all over which advertise (or loudly exclaim!) the long laundry list of things you must definitely not do on them, including (but not restricted to): chewing gum, carrying durian fruit (they stink) or 'be close' to someone (meaning, hugging or kissing). The last one even has a diagram, in silhouette, of a man and a woman, apparently embracing. Struck out through a big, red circle. Another reminder that I am visiting a different culture.

We poked around in Bangsar for a bit and had Thai food at "the Social". The smell of the thunderstorm hung languidly in the air as we enjoyed a variety of Thai delicacies on the patio.

Day one of KL is under my belt. Apparently, the people at SCS's conference this morning were impressed I had been 'brave enough' to venture out to Petaling Street on my first day. And on my own, no less! It has been a day of heat, a new culture and crazy, broken sidewalks where you're just as likely to find a motorcycle careening your way as anything else. It has also taken an adjustment while crossing the road to remember that the drivers are on the other side here. Check the wrong way and one of them will no doubt pick you off.

Um, okay? Or not.

KL: Day One, Morning.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - A much needed respite after spending the morning trekking solo around KL, particularly considering the heat. It’s currently 32 degrees out, with the humidex pushing that up to 43 degrees. Yeah, it’s warm. Throw some curry on me, I think I’m done.

I had nowhere specific to go this morning as SCS is busy presenting at her conference, but I knew she really wanted to show me around KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Centre), where the Towers are, so I didn’t head there. How to start the day was a bit of a dilemma considering I was keen to start discovering, but, being ‘on vacation’, I also really had no reason to hurry. So, it was a casual breakfast buffet in the hotel where I got my fill of food spanning a number of cultures.

Then it was off into the tropical heat, headed wherever my feet took me. A battered prison in the middle of the city, the blue-domed mosque and the famed Petaling Street, or China Town. I was also drawn to KL’s sports stadium, which was surrounded by extremely tall, spiked fences and seemed rather austere. The guard let me poke around inside a bit and it seemed nicer, if not very colonial on the inside.

As much as I expected this experience to be a smorgasbord for the senses, there were times they felt a bit overwhelmed. The noise was abundant: horns, people speaking in many languages, Christmas carols (yes, even though this is a predominantly Muslim country, Christmas carols), motorbikes and trains. It even seemed you could hear the heat. Smells of fresh fish, incense, diesel pollution and various foods blended in the nostrils like the mixture of cultures that are so evident here. Strains of Celine Dion, P-Diddy (or whatever he’s calling himself these days) and John Lennon mixed into Christmas carols – with too much bass – and Indian sitar. And then one figure (besides myself) stands out in the sea of dark faces: Santa Claus.

China Town was an experience unlike any other thus far. “Nike”, “Adidas” and “Mont Blanc” pens everywhere, interspersed with clucking chickens who didn’t know the end was nigh. Buckets of left over parts and fish heads hanging, grinning maniacally. A man, sitting on a butcher’s table, getting a deep tissue massage (were they planning to relax him prior to quartering him, I asked myself). A woman asked where I had bought my hat and looked at me incredulously when I replied, 'Canada'. Another man walked three or four blocks with me, telling me how his sister is moving to Toronto in the new year to be a nurse. I became a little skeptical when he later asked if he could meet me in a particular spot this evening.

“…Colonial stone crumbles into glass:
Commerce, the new imperialism.”

I long ago learned to not look as much like a tourist by walking as though I belonged and by not pulling out a map every twelve seconds (that’s my excuse if I get lost, anyway). It’s funny here, because regardless of how much I keep myself from gazing at the tops of buildings or wandering too aimlessly, I still stand out. In a country predominantly populated by Malay, Chinese and Indian, I come across as being pretty pale. And tall. I suppose the camera doesn’t help my cause either.

Day One. Oh, and Days Two and Three Thrown In.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - 44 hours door-to-door. And that’s not considering the difference in time zone, multiple curry dishes, nor the two hours spent hosing down in the shower to scrape off those parts of the trip that decided to leech into my skin. Curry was but a part of that equation. After the day we had yesterday, I felt dirtier than Rick Solomon after One Night in Paris. And just as unfulfilled.

We arrived at the Hotel Istana in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia tonight around 20:30 local time (13 hours ahead of the time back home – and after having left on Saturday at 12:30 EST), on the heels of a circuitous route through Toronto, Paris and London, the last of which was an unexpected stop. 35 straight hours my eyelids kept running, clicking like shutters, until I was finally able to sleep on the twelve hour flight from London to KL.

Our flights were significantly delayed in Toronto, Paris and London – oh wait, that’s three for three – and cancelled in Paris. After much pleading in both English and French with Malaysian Air representatives in France – even pulling out the fact that SCS has a presentation first thing Tuesday morning for the Prime Minister of Malaysia – we were finally able to get seats on a flight to KL from London, England, leaving ten hours later than we had originally intended. But of course, we had to get to London first. And our bags had been lost because of complications with the cancelled flight from Paris. More than an hour later, they appeared in the nick of time and we ran to the gate just seconds prior to closing by surreptitiously jumping a few lines. Naturally, the terminal from which the plane would be leaving was miles away.

Oh, but wait – theme of the day – when we got to the gate, we found out this plane, too, had been delayed 90 minutes. At that point, it really didn’t matter as we would have been waiting several hours in Heathrow anyway, so it gave us an opportunity to see the newer (and nicer) terminal in Paris. And an opportunity for SCS to catch a Charlie nap.

The situation in France had been a bit of a farce and SCS and I had initially been laughing at our welcome to the country. The airport was beyond dated. And far beyond efficient. When we got to the desk to check in and to get our tickets, we were told the flight wasn't on the board yet and that we'd have to come back in an hour. So we made our way back down through the creepy caverns and back to the terminal's central hub to have a coffee and a pain au chocolat (I believe I have finally swayed SCS to the dark side on those at this point). When we returned to the gate, we were told that we were being given lunch at the Hippopotamus restaurant downstairs because the flight had been delayed three hours. No problems. Asking directions six times, we were finally able to make our way down to the restaurant in the 'Shopping District'. Which included a McDonald's, another restaurant, a pharmacy and a convenience store that had different names depending on which door you entered. Not much of a 'district'. Best of all, we were able to waltz out into Paris without ever once going through immigration or customs. So much for post-911 security.

The centre of the terminal was open-air and consisted of several glass tubes with moving carpets criss-crossing each other and taking people to different levels; that said, no matter where you were trying to access one, it was always going in the opposite direction. SCS likened it to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Hm, Charlie and Chocolate -- likely her two favorite things. And the sign in the elevator helpfully pointed to the floor for "Halls 2-24" and to another floor for "Hall 5". Must be a pretty big Hall. It turns out that one of the Malaysian Airlines planes from the previous day required repairs, stranding those passengers. They, in turn, took our flight, causing two days' worth of nightmares. The worst part is that we found out later they knew all along we weren't going to be flying, but didn't tell most people in enough time to make alternate arrangements. There were some pretty unhappy folks.

In the air, I saw the Eiffel Tower all lit up, and some fireworks over the Thames in London, as well as the Millennium Ferris Wheel. Flying over KL, you could see palm tree plantations as far as you looked, all ordered in perfect lines.

The hotel provides us with a great view of the Petronas Towers and is very nice, though we each described it as “worn”. We didn’t get to see much of KL on the drive in, though the Moorish architecture is one thing that certainly stands out. That’s what the next couple of days, and feet, are for – Discovery!

Heathrow.

London, England - Heath Ledger, having a fight? No. Heathrow, as in the airport in London, England. It turns out that this ‘traveling around the world’ thing can swallow quite a chunk of time. And be mildly exhausting. I might be approaching a personal record for longest time without sleep as I sit here in waiting to board my third plane of the day – 33 hours and counting. And I still have the longest stretch ahead of me.

“Wait a second,” you might be saying to yourself if you had seen my itinerary prior to the trip – “Heathrow? I thought you were going through Paris?” Been there, done that, too; got to practice my French again. Quite a bit. Vociferously even. The City of Lights, well, wasn’t shining too brightly today.

Actually, it started comically enough as SCS commented that the service, architecture and cleanliness reminded her of many developing nations’ airports. Except that this one was still worse. Circular white tile reminiscent of public washrooms, unwashed in many years. The walls, made of some, formerly white, asbestos-seeming material. Also unwashed. Ludicrously layed-out, we repeatedly had to make our way to “Satellite Four”, which was found down a long, undulating tunnel. At the end? A single wicket at one of the farthest extremities of the airport. But no plane. [Boarding Call]

The blocks, above are from a floating piece of art installed in the Pearson International Airport in Toronto.