Bourbon and ON.

Reserved.

London, ON – The rolling green hills around Versailles, Kentucky are stitched together by raw boards: braces holding prized racehorses in place.

Appropriately, the endless pastures are the colour of money.

For miles, the grass is stained white by fresh paint. One farm, in all black, stands in contrast, like Johnny Cash.

We cling to tight corners on country roads before pulling through the stone and iron gate at Woodford Reserve. The name is relatively new, but a distillery was first built here in 1812 and the location is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

We’re immediately drowned by fresh cut grass and sweet sour mash.

Oak barrels teeter down tracks between long, thin stone buildings, headed for a rest.

We left booking a tour too late, so the rest of our day looks similar.

Homeward. 

Vitals:

• Time: 9 hours, 20 minutes
• Distance: 779.9 kms
• States/Province: Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, Ontario
• Weather: Sunny and warm
• Wildlife: None

De La Soul.

C'est (bour)bon.

Lexington, KY – As the bottom of the rust belt falls out, spring greens pitch tentatively skyward.

Eastern redbuds are sprinkled like confetti in the fog, welcoming the new season and accompanying freedom that floats on the breeze. Between winter and a global pandemic now in its third year, the rebirth hits close to home.

Moving south, Ohio’s skyline becomes an abstract of greys crisscrossed by beams painted ochre and soft blues. Many of the art deco bridges are topped by ornate iron work, whispering to a bygone era.

We hadn’t planned to drive, but studies and life got in the way of fleeting plans and here we are, suddenly on a tour of the bourbon trail and pointed toward Charleston, South Carolina.

A tasting at the modern New Riff Distilling, just over the bridge from Cincinnati, is followed by a stop at Boone County Distilling. I’m driving, so just a sniff and a shot of history.

Boone County, founded in 2015, boasts walls dressed in charred barrel staves, blackened but smooth to the touch. It claims inspiration from a distillery opened in the area in 1833 and uses the tagline “Made by Ghosts.”

“Spirits, Distilled by Spirits” was right there.

C'est (aussi) bon.

The best part of the day, though, has been pulling up to a strip mall in Lexington, looking for dinner. Mimi’s Southern Style Cooking is lined up out the door even though the dining room – which seems to double as a dance hall – sits empty.

There’s no obvious menu, but aluminum catering trays shimmer with fried chicken, mac and cheese, collard greens, green beans, corn bread and various other items. We can immediately tell it’s a road trip gem.

Conspicuous, we’re invited to the front of the line and handed a cafeteria tray.

Everyone else is waiting for the pork chops.

Vitals:

• Time: 11 hours
• Distance: 762 kms
• Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky
• Weather: Persistent rain, fog and cold
• Wildlife: None

Fin.

The heat got to this place, too.

London, ON – Much of the morning's drive through Kentucky was like climbing into a Bob Ross painting: happy little clouds dancing over green hills.

It helped we were able to make the final push home with leftovers from Memphis's famous Gibson's Tastee Donuts and from The Stillery in Nashville.

It turns out Brussels sprouts are an underrated pizza ingredient.

One province and eight states, including one new one (Arkansas), and a great time in Memphis. Down to four contiguous U.S. states I've yet to visit.

But, the car still smelled of beer.

Vitals:

• Time: 8.5 hours
• Distance: 641.9 kms
• Weather: Sunny and hot (Detroit, the hottest point on the trip: 34.5 degrees), with a brief storm
• States: Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan
• Wildlife: None

Blues & Suede Shoes.

Graceland, graced.

Hayti, MO – After an early start, we rattled along Michigan’s bone-jarring highways, zebra-striped by countless tar repairs.

To our left, a mosaic-stained hot air balloon slumped in the heat, dropping over a red barn.

It would be the prettiest thing we’d see all day.

But, not the best.

That distinction was reserved for our pit stop at the 3 Floyds Brewpub in Munster, IN, which offered tempura-fried cheese curds, brisket steam buns and Buffalo pretzel knots that had greasy bleu cheese sliding into every nook. The Battle Priest American wild ale, too, was tremendous.

We’re off to Memphis, TN, to Graceland and the National Civil Rights Museum. And, maybe – just maybe – some barbeque. The city is usually described as one of the regional epicenters (with North Carolina, South Carolina, Kansas City, East and South Texas – and sometimes Alabama) of America’s love affair with barbeque.

And, I'm okay with eating them all.

As we dropped farther south, the temperature continued to climb, hitting a pre-humidex 34.5. Approaching Cairo, IL, even the clouds started to sweat.

After all these years, the gravelly voice and the mournful mouth harp of the open road continue to draw us onto these journeys.

Every bend in the road remains a question mark.

•     Time: 14.5 hours
•     Distance: 1,345.2 kms
•     Weather: Sunny and increasingly hot, with a brief rain shower
•     Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri
•     Wildlife: None

Monochrome.

White-knuckle driving.

Romulus, MI – Wolf eyes flash red on the bone-bleached horizon as winds curl in crystals over the vacant fields.

Winter has struck.

With better lighting, I’d imagine the air hanging over the highway would make a dazzling chandelier. Instead, the speed limit sign reads like the bottom line of an optometrist’s visit.

Still, shivering branches reach through the ghosts, beckoning us toward our vacation. The sun, however, is but a button, muted, as I whistle along to St. Vincent.

Starting tomorrow, some colour.

Signs of a Road Trip.

Casey Rocks, Big Time.

London, Ontario – Cruising through Illinois, the billboard proclaimed: “If you lived in Greenville, you would be home by now.”

It was, unfortunately, placed directly in front of a prison.

We had awoken early to a cool morning, having spent the night at a converted, centuries-old barn outside St. Louis. The smell of wet peat hung in the air and wispy fog clung to the trees before sinking into the valley. It was a gorgeous day for the route home.

Farther east, signs called for us to stop in Casey, Illinois, which bills itself as being home to “big things in a small town.” True to its word, we soon came upon a 56-foot-tall wooden rocking chair and a functioning 54-foot-tall wind chime. Naturally, we gave it a ring, sending a deep baritone cascading down Main street.

Friendly townspeople appear to take pride in their quirky town, pointing us on to the next “big thing.” It’s home to seven world’s-largest items – including mailbox, wooden shoes and golf tee – which have all been manufactured in Casey. In all, there are 13 ‘big’ attractions to see.

It’s a road trip – when faced with a 10-hour drive through the prairies, how can you not stop to see the world’s-largest anything?

After 3,772.7 kilometres, home.

Vitals:

• Time: 12 hours, 15 minutes
• Distance: 1,124.5 kms
• Weather: Sunny and warm
• States/Province: Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, Ontario
• Wildlife: Deer

Off the Wagon.

Checking Lincoln's Logs.

St. Louis, Missouri – As we pulled onto the highway this morning, spotted sparrows kicked up in the dust, backlit against the dawn. A light rain made a kaleidoscope of the windshield.

Soon, though, the day's swelling humidity melted the clouds, dripping them onto our skin. It would eventually reach 32.5 degrees as we threaded across middle America.

We found ourselves distracted by a billboard for Boom Donuts in Kalamazooo, Michigan, but couldn’t find it. Even Google comes up short. Other roadside placards duelled for space, offering fireworks and star-pricked galaxies crossed out with a giant red X. "God Created. Period."

Welcome to the heartland.

Soon, we found ourselves perfectly timed for the opening of 3 Floyds – one of the world's top-rated craft breweries. On tap, the highly sought-after Dark Lord – a big, rich, viscous stout. Good lord. Paired with fried cheese curds and a house-cured meat plate, lunch shaped up well.

It seems I soon will, too.

The terrain around us grew as flat as the songs rolling from our tongues. But, pitted roads frequently jarred us into focus. Like ants in a line, we would end up deciding to cut across the grass median to avoid a massive traffic backup near Lincoln, Illinois. Alongside, transport trailers reversed up the on-ramps. We would save ourselves 90 minutes.

Serendipity: a detour on historic Highway 66, and a chance to see the world's largest covered wagon. Would life have been complete any other way?

With the end of the day upon us, the sun glistened off the Gateway Arch in St. Louis.

Missouri: a new state for me to explore.

Vitals:

• Time: 13.5 hours
• Distance: 1,152.8 kms
• Weather: Rain, giving way to sun and heat
• Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri
• Wildlife: None

Reigned In.

2,923 kilometres of memories.

London, ON – The day seemed set on monochrome as I twisted open the throttle for the final push home. Donning rain gear, we set off into a deluge that didn't let up until Findlay, Ohio.

We had decided to forgo any of the fun back roads because we were being greeted by the remnants of a tropical storm that had hit Texas. Safety and ease of getting back home would win the day.

My aching tailbone was silently grateful.

Perhaps it was time after more than 46 hours of riding, 2,923 kilometres, countless curves, three BBQ sandwiches, seven states and a province. And a tonne of laughs and memories with my father.

Which is what it was all about. Thanks, Dad.

Vitals:

•     Time: 7 hours
•     Distance: 541.2 kms
•     Weather: Heavy rain, giving way to sun
•     States/Province: Ohio, Michigan, Ontario
•     Wildlife: Deer

Oh, Hi, Yo.

Roads, bent like Gumby.

Prestonburg, KY – As we rode into Ohio, the morning chill melted off to aromas of dry pine and campfire. By lunch, which we had enjoyed at a rest stop in Michigan, the temperature had risen from 14 to 30.

And, by mid-afternoon: 40.

But, as we approached Columbus, Ohio, the round, peaty smell of summer rain rose to my nostrils and grey skies turned white with large drops that caromed off the windshield. We didn’t even have time to don our rain riders.

Twenty minutes past the storm, however, it hardly mattered: the hot wind had slapped the moisture from our legs and, again, we sizzled.

We were fortunate to re-find the sun as it dropped with us into the Appalachian Mountains, where rock faces finally unmasked themselves to us.

These are the curves for which the area is so well known.

Vitals:

•   Time: 11 hours, 15 minutes
•   Distance: 845.7 kms
•   Weather: Variably sunny and cloudy, with thunderstorms in Columbus; cool then hot
•   Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky
•   Wildlife: None

Disembark.

The road is long that carried me from you.

London, ON – Michigan: blah, blah, blah. Ohio: blah, blah, blah.

Kentucky: pretty, but goodbye.

One province, 13 states, 60 hours and 4,567.5 kilometres driven.

(We do this because we'd never see what we do in any other way. Open road, you are a cruel mistress.)

Home.

Vitals:

• Time: 11 hours, 14 minutes (with two hours at the Outlet stores)
• Distance: 751 kms
• Weather: Sunny
• States/Province: Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, Ontario
• Wildlife: None

Hammer Time.

The road ahead is long for the Mustangs.

Jackson Centre, OH - Like a cement arrow pointing to the bayou, 20 hours of road unfurl before and behind us. Now a third of the way in: New Orleans, here we come.

Building on months of preparation and anticipation, the excitement of 39 Alternative Spring Breakers has seemingly been bottled into the bus like a soft drink, shaken vigorously. Soon, the building will become more tangible as we begin a Habitat for Humanity project in the Big Easy.

Despite some apprehension at the border as we waited to see if one of our team members would be turned back because of a misplaced passport, we were left with a relatively uneventful crossing. Exhale. A stunned jubilation took over from there, fueling this strangely exciting road trip.

With Ontario and Michigan behind us, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi and Louisiana still loom lazily ahead. It turns out folding 6"3 into these seats comes as easily as sleeping in them. Which is to say, not.

Several hours in, the chatter persists. Cell biology texts lay strewn across upholstered seats, Shark Week has given way to the O.C. on the DVD player and a deck of cards shuffles between seats. Aces.

And the stale smell of french fries lingers still.

kentucky hills
The sun scorches behind
the scratched-out erasings
that carve jagged brushstrokes
folding over the curves
of these hills.

In darkness,
the lines shine brightly,
a second on,

a second off,
like a light switch
switched
hypnotically.

The beauty of not having to drive,
for once.

End of Transmission.

London, ON – Like a present that has already been ripped open, the journey home is, naturally, far less fun.

As much as I still love being on the road, most of the mystery and anticipation has by then seeped out the window. Of course, heading back into Ohio and Michigan isn't much of a draw, either.

Just past Cincinnati, Ohio, a car accident shut down the highway for a half hour and the power steering became obstinate again. Twice. The temperature continued to drop the farther north we went, dipping to six degrees. So much for sandals.

Yup, we're home. And Easter turkey awaits.

Vitals:

• Time: 12 hours
• Distance: 1,113.7 kms
• Weather: Hazy, with sun
• States/Provinces: Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, Ontario
• Wildlife: None
  

A Caricature.

Spartanburg, SC – Weaving through hilly switchback cicatrices and past the French Broad River in the back country of North and South Carolina, we finally had our first deviation from the Interstate on this trip. 

Naturally, the day had begun to yawn.

A rock slide in Newport, Tennessee had caused us to detour an hour out of our way, which not only provided fun driving in the hills, but the most eye-opening experience of the journey thus far. It was a prime and timely opportunity to reflect on our good fortune, even in the face of current adversity in our lives.

Like a sad caricature, a young pregnant woman stood smoking on the rickety porch of a fallen-down trailer nestled in the trees. A half-dozen baby carriages in various states of disrepair sat perfectly aligned, much like the weathered, parted-out pick-up trucks to the side. 

I almost expected the moment to carry a New Yorker-type quip underneath.

Throughout the area, decrepit trailers and clapboard homes shrugged like depressed shoulders. Perching on the edge of the riverbank, they lacked doors and sported window frames that slouched into diamonds. A pauper’s garden of refuse dotted the lawn.

It really made us think, even as we careened through the fun-to-drive hills and curves – extreme poverty exists everywhere. Though unexpected, it was the day’s highlight.

From the time we entered Tennessee, however, we could tell from the spicy, humid aroma of the air and the red and white flowering trees that blossomed like small puffs of smoke that the onset of spring was already here. With budding trees comes a budding season and budding promise for the journey ahead.

And Carolina barbeque for dinner wasn't a bad way to end a day, either.

Vitals:

• Time: 14 hours
• Distance: 1,323.3 kms
• Weather: Predominantly grey, warming up in the afternoon; rain in major cities in the north
• Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina
• Wildlife: None
  

Oh, Deer.

Winona, MN - Behind us, a seam split in the sky, allowing bare branches to take broad brush- strokes, tinting it peach. The break in darkness welcomed us to our drive to Victoria, British Columbia this morning.

Entering Michigan, we were confronted by a sign that advertised, "For all your deer processing needs." Really? Of course, this was soon followed by a woman driving an SUV, talking on her cellular phone with children in the back. And a large deer head sitting, hauntingly, in the passenger seat. I wish I was kidding. And that I wasn't haunted by memories of The Godfather.

We discovered that Wisconsin claims to be the birthplace of circuses. And carnies, one would suppose, though that's obviously less of a claim to fame. Crossing the Mississippi river, and into Minnesota, we were greeted by the beginnings of hills and sky of purple and pink wisps of cloud reminiscent of peacock feathers. Day one was thus complete.

Alas, we got no cheese in Wiscoooonsinnnn.

Vitals:

• Time: 11 hours
• Distance: 1,150 kilometres
• Weather: Sun, Moderate
• Provinces/States: Ontario, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota
• Wildlife: Wild turkeys

Day Three. Home Sweet Home.

London, Ontario - And, he's back. Good golly, we return to Michigan today, where they like them some churches, mighty fine. Halleluiah!

The day started off well, with a complete – and most importantly – included, hot breakfast, Super 8-style. Make-your-own waffles, cereal, doughnuts, some sort of chopped sausage grits/porridge concoction I didn’t touch. And coffee. The orange juice was skunky, so it got tossed. Not a bad start, particularly after the lack of real food yesterday. Up at 6:54, I am still completely knackered. My throat is scratchy. And not in the sexy way. The trip started to catch up with me last night, but I really didn’t want to ply myself from the covers this morning. Well, I should have crawled under them earlier. Sigh. Such a dummy. Having started at the crack of darkness on Tuesday didn’t help either. Really.

On the road at 7:34 – not too bad a turnaround time despite the fog in my brain. One sign that it’s going to be a good day, though: the warning at the entrance to the highway states that it is not to be used by “farm implements”. Brings back fond memories of one of my former history professors who would always sprinkle his lectures with the term because he knew it would make us all laugh. Absurd, really. Another good sign: it’s clear and 20 degrees. Starting at 2,078.7 kms. today.

7:44: Big Bone Lick State Park. No comment. It’s too early, dammit. And I’m dumb today. Just past this, and outside Cincinnati, though, a giant traffic snarl lights up like an LED board. Signs warn of 10-15 minute delays. I remind myself of the perils of cat naps during that stretch. Then stretch and yawn. Where’s that coffee again? Gone. Damn my inability to drink more slowly. Sigh (number two).
What’s Playing: The Organ, Grab that Gun

8:13: Cincinnati! Finally, free from the clutches of the hordes. Traffic jam, be gone.

8:34: 2,170.9 kms. It’s grey out, but at least it's not raining.
What’s Playing: Man on the Moon, OST

8:57: West Carrolton, OH for more gas. Looks like a ritzier neighborhood. Whoops, maybe not the best place to choose for gas. It just struck me that I’m so used to not going to generic gas stations that I have stuck with the majors to fill the rental car. Hmm. $2.479 a gallon for a total of $26.48. According to news reports last night, fuel is cheaper across the US than it has been in a year and it is anticipated that gas prices will be down to $2.00 a gallon by Thanksgiving. Depends if their President starts another war somewhere. Sorry, my little yellow ribbon must have peeled off. I can support the troops just fine, thanks – I just don’t support that government. There is a very BIG difference. But these people carry guns, so I’ll keep my trap shut. Big trap. Big guns. Closed.
What’s Playing: Lauryn Hill, The Miseducation of

9:34: 2,272.7 kms.
What’s Playing: Alanis Morissette, Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

10:34: 2,383.7 kms.
What’s Playing: The Tragically Hip, Day for Night

11:23: Michigan!

11:29: Monroe, Michigan, here we come. Alright, one more stop for the road trip. The last hurrah. The big finale (have I built up the anticipation yet?). Jerky!

Uh, Santa lives there, right? How exactly do I get into a career in Jerky? I’m sure Guelph offers a degree in it.

Anytime a man wearing an apron -- and surrounded by various cured meats -- approaches with shears, do not fret. Smile broadly. Samples! Teriyaki Beef. Smoked Beef (sorry, drooling on the keyboard). Some other kind I cannot remember, though if I search far enough back into my molars, I might find some stringy remnants. Mmm, remnants. Jerky = yum. Especially on road trips. Too bad this one is almost over.

Anyway, paper bags full of jerky and I’m a happy man. In the absence of other exciting photo opp’s today, we’re going to embark on the journey called “Jerky over Michigan”. Replete with reviews. In depth reviews. Some might even say, “meaty”. Others stick to “dry”. Those ones are usually being jerky.

Beer flavoured beef. Spicy. Okay, I get it – tough to go too far astray with this one: Give man meat. Give man beer. Man be happy. A club, too? Over the moon.

11:34: 2,484.9 kms. Last stop? For real this time? Michigan Welcome Centre in Monroe. There’s the coffee again. And empty the car of garbage acquired in six states and one province over three days. But really, I just wanted to add to my map collection. I just got back into the car and wow, does it smell strongly of dried meats. Mmm, dried meats…Sorry, I just lost more time, opening and closing the door. Wafts are so good. But such a tease. Need more meat. Did I mention there’s jerky? Jerky, we’re close, you know.

Try the garlic beef, you say? Why, mighty nice of you to ask. Barkley was feeling left out and wanted to try some, too (I don't even want to see the cat gut after that one). This was surprisingly bland until 5-6 hours later. Just ask anyone I talked to. Except the jerky, he’s gone (hey, it was a lonely car). That conversation went like this: “Am I shaped like a state you just left?” “Not yet,” I replied. Then it became Rhode Island, which was subsequently sucked into the dark, gurgling ocean.
What’s Playing: Travis, The Man Who

12:20: Detroit! (Sorry Paul, “The D”).

12:28: Canada!*
(*Caveat: Well, we’re at the midpoint of the Ambassador Bridge, so they haven’t technically let me into the country yet. But the Russian judge ruled in my favor on this one.)

12:34: 2,555.8 kms.

My favorite jerky of the day was the honey garlic pork. Ever so slight a zip. Tender. I don’t want to pig out because I’m bac-on track to get home. It was smooth. Like butter. Very chewy butter. At least it looks like a maple leaf for going across the border (that’s what they’d say at Ruby Falls, anyway).

12:36: SCS wins the bet (she had wagered that I had a 42 per cent chance of getting stopped at the border, I had wagered 74 per cent). I whizzed through without any difficulty this time. I think the ever-so serious agent even raised the corner of her lip the slightest bit when I replied to her query about items to declare: “…right at $100 worth of apparel, including a pair of shoes…and some jerky.” A micro-smile at best, but I know she wanted some. I was just glad that she didn’t ask where I had been; I’ve had a mental block about remembering “Huntsville” all week, for whatever the reason.

Welcome to Canada! Windsor! Eek. 24 degrees and sunny. Finally make it to the good ol’ 401 eleven minutes later.
What’s Playing: Split CD: Wolf Parade, Apologies to the Queen Mary and EPs

13:34: 2,652.7 kms.
What’s Playing: Split CD: Regina Spektor: Soviet Kitsch and Begin to Hope

14:20: London! Grr. Welcome back to the city’s horribly mistimed lights. All red. And I’m so close I can taste it. Or maybe that’s just the jerky.

14:34: 2,749.4 kms.

14:38: Gas for the last time. 89.7, which is still cheaper than I’ve seen it in quite a while around here, for a total of $34.77. Drivin’ isn’t cheap.

14:43: HOME!!! (Yes, that one deserves triple exclamation marks). Total trip kilometers: 2,751.7. 35 hours and 28 minutes of tooling around time. Two bags of Crispers. Two Granny Smith Apples. A bag of Licorice. Most of two boxes of granola bars. Two 2L bottles of pop and a litre of water. A bag of Skor bites. And jerky, sweet jerky. Where would I be without you? Um, here.
And yes thanks, I am as tired as I look. But it was worth it.

Day One, Morning.

5:01: Start time. We're off and we're wet. 17 degrees and it turns out that the car doesn't have a multi-changer for the CDs. Gas in London is 91.9. Don't need any; haven't gone anywhere yet.
What's Playing: Bright Eyes, Digital Ash in a Digital Urn

5:16: Not messing with what I know works, make it to the highway. Go figure, there are trucks on the 401. And they're snarling at me. I'm tired and don't want to hear it. But this will seem to be a theme for the day.

Blades slice through
the rain,
water colours on the
windshield
painting smudged memory
down the road behind,
a blank
canvas ahead.

2006.08.29

6:01: 101.3 kms in the first hour. Things are humming along, albeit dark. The rain, though, mercifully subsided after the first forty minutes or so. Gee, thanks. Even the trucks have abated for a bit.

6:08: Ambassador Bridge! There goes Canada, here comes the U.S. Michigan: state number one for the day. Gee, let's guess what they odds are that a scruffian traveling solo to Alabama -- where he knows nobody -- will get stopped at the border. 5 to 1? 10 to 1? 100 to 1? Let's go with almost guaranteed. Twenty minutes later, freed from the clutches of the orange form stuck to my windshield and from the raised eyebrows emanating from several rather large, and surprisingly thick-accented U.S. Customs Agents. Just doing their jobs, I know. At least there was no snapping of latex gloves onto overly eager fingers. And now, the sigh of relief. I'm free to go do whatever it is I'm going to do in Alabama and points in between. The odds of getting searched when I return to Canada? Particularly if I have nothing to declare?

7:01: Up to 201.4 kms

7:53: Back on the highway after circling around and wandering aimlessly like a lost school child (albeit in possession of a 2,000 pound car) in Detroit. Those ramps that branch off in three directions are just dang tricky. Especially when you don't read the signs right to begin with. Figures that this is the one city on the voyage I've been to the most. And an inauspicious start. Where's that paper bag again?
What's Playing: REM, Reconstruction of the Fables

8:01: Up to 232.3 kms

8:20: Billboard advertising 'Alcatraz, the Gentlemen's Club'? This is the first of what I discover to be a trend throughout the journey: billboards for strip clubs, fireworks and God. Everywhere. And not always in that particular order.

8:23: Another beef jerky outlet, this one given the stomach-tantalizing moniker of 'Beef Jerky Unlimited'. Alas, it does not open until 9am. Sigh. But I don't want to wait. Hmm, dried pork products. Drool. Traffic ends up slowing for a bit as everyone is drawn like moths to the shiny lights. They're fire trucks, people. We all have them in our towns. A tiny Honda Civic decided to tangle with an 18-wheeler. Well, there was a tangle. The transport, however, was just sitting there, blowing on its fingernails, a ho-hum look on its face. Major plastic surgery for the Civic.

8:36: O-Bye-O! I barely knew you. The Buckeye State. Not to be confused with Hawkeye.

8:56: First voluntary stop of the day. Feeling patriotic, so the call of duty is at a Tim's in Ohio, just outside Toledo. I had forgotten about how many American establishments have midget-sized urinals. Seriously, a foot off the floor. Short or not, the pot of coffee had to go somewhere. First gas fill-up, too: $2.549/gallon for a total of $14.43. Oh yeah, it's still wet, grey and crappy too. Up to 18 degrees though. Much easier job getting back on the highway this time. Yay me.
9:01: Up to 314.7 kms
What's Playing: REM, Life's Rich Pageant

9:46: An all-you-can-eat buffet. Of Kentucky Fried Chicken. When are we going to get that kind of greasy goodness in Canada?

10:01: Up to 424.1 kms
What's Playing: Mixed live album (Cat Power, Bright Eyes, Linkin Park f/ Jay-Z)

10:43: Midget urinal breakshouldn't two. Oh wait, probably shouldn't have phrased it like that. But you know what I mean. You're smart like that. A pleasant Ohio rest stop with an hour to go to Cincinnatti.

10:51: While still cloudy, I can see the first hint of sun, albeit only a sliver. It has only taken six hours.

11:01: Up to 534.6 kms

Evidence that we are finally approaching the south. Even the water tower -- this one in Florence, Ohio -- says "Y'all".

11:09: Lovely Dayton, Ohio. A little hillier and greener than what we've been seeing, though Michigan and Ohio have bdidn'tbeen pretty blah. The weather didn't help. It just made the dirt wet. First jump in the temperature of the day, though; up to 24.
What's Playing: Liz Phair, s/t

11:31: Quite the Church. They like they're churches down here. And their enormous sculptures of people climbing out of the earth.
What's Playing: Fugees, The Score

11:51: Cincinnatti



11:58: Kentucky! Welcome to the bluegrass state. KY. No, not the jelly.