Blues & Suede Shoes.

Graceland, graced.

Hayti, MO – After an early start, we rattled along Michigan’s bone-jarring highways, zebra-striped by countless tar repairs.

To our left, a mosaic-stained hot air balloon slumped in the heat, dropping over a red barn.

It would be the prettiest thing we’d see all day.

But, not the best.

That distinction was reserved for our pit stop at the 3 Floyds Brewpub in Munster, IN, which offered tempura-fried cheese curds, brisket steam buns and Buffalo pretzel knots that had greasy bleu cheese sliding into every nook. The Battle Priest American wild ale, too, was tremendous.

We’re off to Memphis, TN, to Graceland and the National Civil Rights Museum. And, maybe – just maybe – some barbeque. The city is usually described as one of the regional epicenters (with North Carolina, South Carolina, Kansas City, East and South Texas – and sometimes Alabama) of America’s love affair with barbeque.

And, I'm okay with eating them all.

As we dropped farther south, the temperature continued to climb, hitting a pre-humidex 34.5. Approaching Cairo, IL, even the clouds started to sweat.

After all these years, the gravelly voice and the mournful mouth harp of the open road continue to draw us onto these journeys.

Every bend in the road remains a question mark.

•     Time: 14.5 hours
•     Distance: 1,345.2 kms
•     Weather: Sunny and increasingly hot, with a brief rain shower
•     Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri
•     Wildlife: None

Signs of a Road Trip.

Casey Rocks, Big Time.

London, Ontario – Cruising through Illinois, the billboard proclaimed: “If you lived in Greenville, you would be home by now.”

It was, unfortunately, placed directly in front of a prison.

We had awoken early to a cool morning, having spent the night at a converted, centuries-old barn outside St. Louis. The smell of wet peat hung in the air and wispy fog clung to the trees before sinking into the valley. It was a gorgeous day for the route home.

Farther east, signs called for us to stop in Casey, Illinois, which bills itself as being home to “big things in a small town.” True to its word, we soon came upon a 56-foot-tall wooden rocking chair and a functioning 54-foot-tall wind chime. Naturally, we gave it a ring, sending a deep baritone cascading down Main street.

Friendly townspeople appear to take pride in their quirky town, pointing us on to the next “big thing.” It’s home to seven world’s-largest items – including mailbox, wooden shoes and golf tee – which have all been manufactured in Casey. In all, there are 13 ‘big’ attractions to see.

It’s a road trip – when faced with a 10-hour drive through the prairies, how can you not stop to see the world’s-largest anything?

After 3,772.7 kilometres, home.

Vitals:

• Time: 12 hours, 15 minutes
• Distance: 1,124.5 kms
• Weather: Sunny and warm
• States/Province: Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, Ontario
• Wildlife: Deer

Off the Wagon.

Checking Lincoln's Logs.

St. Louis, Missouri – As we pulled onto the highway this morning, spotted sparrows kicked up in the dust, backlit against the dawn. A light rain made a kaleidoscope of the windshield.

Soon, though, the day's swelling humidity melted the clouds, dripping them onto our skin. It would eventually reach 32.5 degrees as we threaded across middle America.

We found ourselves distracted by a billboard for Boom Donuts in Kalamazooo, Michigan, but couldn’t find it. Even Google comes up short. Other roadside placards duelled for space, offering fireworks and star-pricked galaxies crossed out with a giant red X. "God Created. Period."

Welcome to the heartland.

Soon, we found ourselves perfectly timed for the opening of 3 Floyds – one of the world's top-rated craft breweries. On tap, the highly sought-after Dark Lord – a big, rich, viscous stout. Good lord. Paired with fried cheese curds and a house-cured meat plate, lunch shaped up well.

It seems I soon will, too.

The terrain around us grew as flat as the songs rolling from our tongues. But, pitted roads frequently jarred us into focus. Like ants in a line, we would end up deciding to cut across the grass median to avoid a massive traffic backup near Lincoln, Illinois. Alongside, transport trailers reversed up the on-ramps. We would save ourselves 90 minutes.

Serendipity: a detour on historic Highway 66, and a chance to see the world's largest covered wagon. Would life have been complete any other way?

With the end of the day upon us, the sun glistened off the Gateway Arch in St. Louis.

Missouri: a new state for me to explore.

Vitals:

• Time: 13.5 hours
• Distance: 1,152.8 kms
• Weather: Rain, giving way to sun and heat
• Province/States: Ontario, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri
• Wildlife: None

Beam Me Up.

Not a booze cruise.

Dayton, OH – The rural roads we crossed in central Kentucky this morning were quiet and unlined. Coursing under a canopy of mature trees, they more resembled extended driveways.

Dogs, puffing their chests, nipped at our heels as we roared past barns, streaked red and black, and countless Baptist steeples, bleached white.

For miles, corn sprouted to my knees, while other fields were pin-pricked by bright bales, dried in the sun. And then, apparently, we stumbled upon the Bourbon Trail. Acres of storage sheds for the brown liquor stood tall on the roadside: Maker’s Mark, Heaven’s Hill and Jim Beam.

We took a break to stroll through the Beam homestead and have a quick look at some of the production facilities as the smell of charred white oak and vanilla blended into the boozy humidity. We didn't imbibe: we didn't want our two wheels to begin to appear they were four.

Soon, we crossed a big blue bridge over the Ohio River, leading me to expect to be in its namesake's state. Instead, Indiana.

Cruising along the waterway, we stopped into Rising Sun for lunch. If the name of the town wasn’t enough of a reason to stop, the tasty pulled pork sandwich and conversation with Mark at the Main Street Diner certainly was.

These quirky finds are what make road trips what they are.

Vitals:

•     Time: 9 hours, 30 minutes
•     Distance: 463.7 kms
•     Weather: Sunny, with only a sprinkle of rain
•     States: Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio
•     Wildlife: None

Oh, Deer.

Winona, MN - Behind us, a seam split in the sky, allowing bare branches to take broad brush- strokes, tinting it peach. The break in darkness welcomed us to our drive to Victoria, British Columbia this morning.

Entering Michigan, we were confronted by a sign that advertised, "For all your deer processing needs." Really? Of course, this was soon followed by a woman driving an SUV, talking on her cellular phone with children in the back. And a large deer head sitting, hauntingly, in the passenger seat. I wish I was kidding. And that I wasn't haunted by memories of The Godfather.

We discovered that Wisconsin claims to be the birthplace of circuses. And carnies, one would suppose, though that's obviously less of a claim to fame. Crossing the Mississippi river, and into Minnesota, we were greeted by the beginnings of hills and sky of purple and pink wisps of cloud reminiscent of peacock feathers. Day one was thus complete.

Alas, we got no cheese in Wiscoooonsinnnn.

Vitals:

• Time: 11 hours
• Distance: 1,150 kilometres
• Weather: Sun, Moderate
• Provinces/States: Ontario, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota
• Wildlife: Wild turkeys