Day Two, Morning.

Dry Ridge, Kentucky - Long day again, but this one was more enjoyable, notably because, having gained a grasp of how much time travel would take yesterday, I was able to take my time coming back and see more of the sights. That and, of course, the weather’s cooperation was an immeasurable, not to mention unexpected, help. I had no intention of making the push back to Ontario tonight anyway, so I’ve just set myself up in striking distance, stopping in northern Kentucky. Was more impressed with this state than Ohio anyway, so I’d rather spend my money here. Yeah, still not sleeping out of the car…

Still, in Dry Ridge, KY, I’m just a shout from Cincinnati, which is not too tough a drive back. If I don’t screw up around Detroit. I had thought of stopping into Steve & Barry’s on my way back through ‘The D’ (thanks for keeping me hip to the lingo, Paul) as the entire store is priced at $7, but I’m thinking no at this point. More on that below. It did, however, become ‘University Day’ today. First to the University of Tennessee (Sorry Kate, I know this is the wrong ‘T’, not to mention the wrong colour of orange, but I’d go to Austin if I had the chance, too!) in Knoxville, then the University of Kentucky in Lexington. Good times. Looked like schools. Schools with students. Except bigger than Canada. And even more moneyed.

7:24: Go time! I had planned to get up at eight EST but – blink, blink – started the day a little earlier. Like 5:55 earlier. Oh well, more time to explore. Still have a few days left where I can sleep when I get back. It’s a muggy 25 degrees in Huntsville, Alabama and the slow trek home has begun. Foggy, we start the day at 1,286.1 kms. on the trusty trip meter. Oh, the fog? It’s outside, too…

Must fill up on gas as I let Coby dry out last night because I needed those precious fumes for myself after that long a day. I was gassed, he needed it. $2.699 a gallon for a total of $30.94. Thankfully, the exchange rate these days is good. Clever little sign over a bookstore: “Booklegger Used Books”. Witty, even at this time of day.
What’s Playing: Metric, Split CD: Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? and Live it Out

8:00: That didn’t take long – I’m off the planned road and looking for adventure. Feeling frisky as my confidence in the roads grows. Really, I don’t have anywhere I HAVE to be today, right? So what if I get a little lost. Not that that will happen. Anyway, fighting the fog, a sign for the Cathedral Caverns State Park screams to me like a beacon in, well, the fog. Should be a nice morning for a drive in the smoky mountains. Particularly if the fog burns off. Oh wait, it’s eight in the morning, er, seven in the morning here, and that’s not likely to happen for a bit. Not many other people on the road this time of day. Nor, it seems at the Park. There are a few workers building a new walkway into the cave – which is, apparently, the largest cavern mouth in the world – but the box office is as silent as a mime. Foiled in my bid for spelunking again. Egads. It feels good to go for a little hike in the surrounding area, though, particularly after having cooped myself up in the car for so long these past couple of days.

8.24: 1,342.2 kms.

8:37: Sunshine! Was back in the car after the caves at 8:30 and actually found my way back out alright. Oh, I spoke too soon. Back in the valley, it’s grey again. The new State colour of Ohio has become the theme colour for my trip. Grr. Driving through Scottsboro, AL (“Where the mountains meet the lakes”) is gorgeous and, as the tagline suggests, actually features water, which is something I’ve seen little of thus far. The lake is covered in kelp and doesn’t smell very good, but it looks nice with the mountain backdrop.
What’s Playing: Hayden, Live at Convocation Hall, Disc Two.

9:24: 1,413.1 kms. This has just been a spectacular day thus far, particularly with my deep-seated love for the mountains, though the Smoky Mountains don’t hold a candle to the Canadian Rockies. Actually, nobody should hold a candle to either of them. Still, in the absence of the Rockies, these will do just fine. It’s 24 degrees, though humid, and I’m traveling along at a slower pace, not relying on those snooty main highways. The problem with the secondary highways, though? No state rest stops. At least I’m coffee deprived.

9:47: Georgia! State number six on the trip.

What’s Playing: REM, Reckoning. Just in time, too, for they are Athens, GA natives. Funny, too, is that the now-infamous line, “Jefferson, I think we’re lost” came on right as I crossed the border. Small things, small minds. I get it. Just because I like the name of the town, Rising Fawn, I stop. Well, that and I need to pee (no state rest stops, remember? Keep up, will you!) We’re back into the heart of the mountains at this point.

10:15: Tennessee! Sorry Georgia: Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, I barely got to know you. Similarly, it’s hot and sticky here, too. 27 degrees.

10:24: Looks like I didn’t track the kilometers this hour. Busy putting Coby the Cobalt through his paces up various switchbacks of Lookout Mountain. We’re headed to the highly-vaunted Ruby Falls. Well, they’re vaunted by the billboards littered across the mountain for miles back, anyway. I sense commercial exploit. Peter Parker, by Spidey Sense is tingling. Oh wait, is that what that is? I’m not going to need the topical cream after all. It’s a mountain, people; what’s so great about it.

Sigh. The Disney-like music is playing out of faux-rocks. It’s not quite “It’s a small world after all”, but it’s close. Dead give-away. Would be the only give-away of the visit, I am sure. I should have been smarter and run as fast as my wee legs would take me. Well, they’re not so wee, so I couldn’t. The smell of outstretched hands for money. Oooh, ooh, a trail – perhaps I can snake them and get away with it! Harumph. “Employees Only”. Dead end. Back toward the music and the door, manned by someone with far-too-shiny teeth. I’m not sure, but I think I heard a latch bar the door shut when I went through.

So, I’m suckered for $15.00 to see the falls, touted to be the tallest underground falls accessible by the public. Would have rathered give that kind of money to a state park (like this morning’s, which wouldn’t take my money), but, okay, I’m a tourist. I’ll bite. That’s what I’m here for, right? Actually, it sounds kind of neat. I’ll get to see a cave. And a waterfall. Maybe even stalagmites. Ooh, ooh, ooh – I’m getting excited now.

The tour guide was actually very funny. Even 160 feet beneath the ground. Though the combination of his whiny voice and his southern accent made me want to punch him. Not really. Poor kid’s grasping for puberty. And to discover his sexuality. He made little jokes about ‘Stalag-lights’ for the things the company had built to house the lights in the rocks and ‘Stalag-pipes’ for the tobacco-shaped rock formations (seriously, they decide rocks look like various objects, then name them after said object). That’s the kind of humour I can appreciate. In small doses. Unless it’s me.

The formations were actually pretty cool and the cave was neat in and of itself. Not built for people of my height, though. I guess they’re not really built at all. For dramatic effect, the lights were off in the room with the waterfall until…just…the…right...moment. That was a bit much, but it was something you don’t get to see every day. Unless you work there. The guide had obviously made his spiel a few times. Unfortunately, the camera battery died before I got the chance to get up to the top of Lookout Mountain, so no pictures. It was quite a sight over Tennessee, though. You’ll just have to trust me on that. All in all, it was cool.

Such a tourist am I.