Hard to DisCERN.

ALICE in Wonderland.

St Genis-Pouilly, France — We press our individualized keys to the instrument panel and step, one-by-one, into a tight glass box, waiting for the light to go green and for the door to close behind us with a thud.

And for the one in front to open.

The security system at CERN is very sensitive, rejecting me several times before spitting me out the other side. Today, we're excused from retina scans.

Bobbing along in blue hardhats, we drop 100 metres into the Earth, where scientists are trying to better understand how the universe formed, what it's made of and how it works.

Watch out for collisions.

Frankly, physics and philosophy have always tended to be my downfall, twisting my brain into another dimension. So, it goes without saying that theoretical physics flies by me at the speed of the particles that race around the accelerator here. That said, there was still no way I was going to pass up this opportunity to take a field trip to the birthplace of the world wide web and home to the discovery of the Higgs boson.

We started at the ALICE experiment, learning about quark-gluon plasma and how scientists used the equipment to recreate conditions that existed one millisecond after the Big Bang. Eventually, they hope to get to an n of zero.

How does this thing handle in the corners?

By smashing heavy ions at nearly the speed of light, the 2012 experiment produced the highest human-made temperature (5.5 trillion Kelvin) in the universe.

We've had the extremely unique opportunity to descend into the Large Hadron Collider itself, which is very rarely open to the public. Most scientists, we're told, can't even get in. It helps that we know people, and that it will be shut for two years for a facelift.

Physically, it's just a 27-kilometre-long circular tunnel lined with pipes and instruments. More practically, however, it's where discovery of the Higgs boson and other breakthroughs have been made possible. It's a scientific juggernaut.

And a giant (faster-than-a) bullet train for particles.

It's a humble, yet humbling place.

Feeling Vine.

Ric-o-la!

Cully, Switzerland — We're handed a wine glass, a map and three tokens for local food

And sent on our way.

The wine-making village of Cully has shut down for us tonight, leaving us to wander the jagged streets and taste the vintners' wares. There are 10 wineries for us to visit as many times as we'd like.

It's possible the streets get more jagged as the night grows fuller.

At the base of hills in full leaf, we wander between stone houses sporting brightly painted shutters. Most were built between the 16th and 19th centuries.

A man tosses a Swiss flag into the air and catches it with a crack as three alphorns fill the air with a low moan.

A grape time was had by all.

The region is striped by stone terraces set into the steep hills of the Lavaux vineyard terraces, which make for a face full of braces. At more than 800 hectares, it's the largest contiguous vineyard region in Switzerland, and was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2007. Many of the terraces date back to the 11th century.

It's a panorama beyond compare: vineyards falling into Lake Geneva with the snow-capped French Alps standing with puffed chest before us. It's hard to imagine photo-editing technology hasn't been applied to real life. It's that breathtaking.

At the end of the night, a thank-you bag. In it, a bottle of wine for the road.

What a tremendous evening.

Awake, A Walk.

Roamin'.

Lausanne, Switzerland —The 37-degree heat has brought out the tropical aromas of coconut sunscreen and cigars.

And not much in the way of bathing suits.

For some reason, I've decided to take the 80-minute walk to the Swiss Tech Convention Center to pick up my conference badge. There is, of course, a train that goes directly there.

What's the adventure in that?

Being Europe, I literally stumble across the ruins of the ancient Roman village of Lousonna. Its foundations have been reduced to scattered grey teeth laid out in lines.

Even on a Monday afternoon, Lake Geneva is packed with sun-seekers, skaters carving up the half-pipe and jagged-abbed beach volleyball players. Others have brought cases of beer and baguette.

Everyone seems to be escaping their saunas-for-homes.

Preferring to be like the swans basking along the water's edge, very little moves quickly in this heat.

Except the swarms of tiny flies that emerge in a Danse Macabre around my face.

It's too hot to swat them away.

Well Trained.

Shutter to think.

Lausanne, Switzerland — Hustling into the charcoal-tinted underground with a mere minute to spare, I feel French flow from my lips like an unknown water source.

It's surprisingly fluid after all these years.

A weary man with a cumbersome keychain replies, saying I've found the correct train and points me toward the second-class car. After nine hours of flying, the hour-long inter-regional 90 will carry me from the airport in Geneva to Lausanne for about $25. It's handy.

And, it's sweltering. This isn't a region that generally has much need for air conditioning.

Like faded stitches across the landscape, the tracks ring the turquoise of Lake Geneva, which rests like a jewel in the Alps. The mountains, in soft focus, hem us in.

Throughout the journey, bubble graffiti rises up walls to scalloped tile roofs and tiny-peaked homes. A face has been painted around a grate, making it bare teeth at passersby. Taking a sharp corner, a vintage green Citröen makes an equally bold statement on the narrow streets below before heading into the countryside.

Vineyards cascade down the growing slopes as we near our destination.

Unsurprisingly, we arrive on time.

This is Switzerland, after all.